To me, it feels silly to write this, but it has been requested a lot recently and has always been a topic of conversation among peers and colleagues, no matter where I am.
It’s never my “plan” to create relationships, it’s innately what I do. It’s also why I think it takes a certain kind of person to be a social media and/or community manager – some things can be taught, but relationship-building is instinctive.
It’s not news to me, but working with some green-ish social/community managers lately there are a lot of lightbulb moments for them that make me internally say “Yikes, what have you been doing this whole time?” or “What did you think this job was?” and I’m not saying that I’m better or above them, but I truly believe there are very few actual community managers in existence.
ANYWAY- this one is about how and why you should build personal relationships with your clients, colleagues, and even the people in the communities you manage.
🧂 Salty Insights: It's Not Weird to Know Your Client
Relationships build trust and trust creates loyalty and loyalty generates income and positive word of mouth, but that’s not why I invest in relationships. I build relationships because I genuinely like to know people and it helps when they know who I am beyond the strategy I create.
I am anti-starting meetings with: “hi, how are you?” “how’s the weather?” “happy [insert day of the week]!” Barf. Ideally, everyone would join a meeting with their walkup song playing – but not their hype song their “watch out or hooray I’m in this kind of mood” song.
I hate small talk. Tell me where you traveled, hell tell me about your kid or pet if you have to, but I don’t really need to know you’re “good” and “it’s hot” and I certainly don’t need you to act like whatever day of the week it is deserves acknowledgment.
“How was your trip to Italy, did you get that wine you were looking for?” “HAHA how about that game last night (my team vs your team)?” or one may ask me “seen any whales lately? I need new pics!”
I do not care if my clients follow me on Instagram. I have nothing to hide and they can get to know me even more without jumping on a call.
That’s just the beginning – you have to weave your personality, quips, honest opinions, and recommendations throughout the meeting.
I used to recap a client on how their movie premieres went over on X. I always started with a caveat – either that this is going to be a hilarious recap, the community was brutal or the movie and the comments were brutal – but in a “here’s your warning, let’s all laugh” way.
Not everyone shares my personality of course, but it’s good to loosen them up before you present, then you can chat and laugh (or cry) throughout. Colleagues in this situation, and others like it were so uncomfortable with me doing that – not because it was cringy but because they “could never,” or “how do you talk so naturally?” Well, um. Hmm – I just do?
That’s just a very small example of the vibe I like to have with my clients. Instead of throwing salt the whole time, I’ll get into how and why you should create authentic, candid relationships with your clients (or agency), and communities.
Why are we afraid to talk to our [agency/client/community]?
Why is the agency/freelancer afraid to talk to the client that hired them?
Why is the client afraid to talk to the agency/freelancer they chose?
Why is the brand afraid to talk to the community who consistently shows up (and spends their money) ?
Why are you afraid to talk to your community who always shows up (and refers you)?
Why are we afraid to build relationships with the people who increase our income?
Why are we afraid to build relationships with the people we spend most of our time with?
We put so much of ourselves into our work, especially if you’re a creative and seem to always have this thought in the back of our head that the other party isn’t going to understand or accept the concept, proposal, report or whatever it may be. Then why are you working together if you’re afraid of each other?
⚓️ Anchor Your Success: Building Real Relationships
Understanding Creates Trust
Trust starts with understanding and often a client will say “I’m not a social media expert,” great, we’ll I’m not a [whatever you do] and that’s why you hired me! It’s okay that you don’t know but I’m here to lead it and if you want me to teach you along the way, I will – AS LONG AS you don’t think you’re going to quickly and easily learn how to do my job so you can “do it yourself.” Yeah, I just heard your eyes roll. It happens. A lot. We are a team and we are here to reach and exceed these goals together.
Admitting what you don’t know and asking questions builds stronger relationships with clients and teams.
Trust Creates Vulnerability
Being vulnerable is to be willing to be open and honest with each other – even when it comes to sharing challenges, admitting mistakes or discussing difficult topics.
It’s about being transparent about limitations, uncertainties or areas where improvement is necessary.
When you’re both vulnerable, you can build deeper connections and get more done.
Honesty is everything, especially when it comes to reporting. Agencies think everything has to be positive – positive growth, positive feedback etc and if it’s not, they massage the truth or leave harsher, necessary truths out. How does that help business, planning and growth? It doesn’t. When I’m honest with a client about their performance and can explain it – they understand and we discuss what to do different or better next time. If you don’t know the answer to something in that moment you don’t lie, you don’t flat out say I don’t know, you tell them you’ll look into and get back to them – because you will. If you continue to lie or hide the truth from your client, eventually they’re going to find out and they’re going to find another agency. I’ve seen it happen A LOT.
Just like in personal relationships – you don’t want to be lied to so why is your client/agency relationship any different? It’s not fun working with constant bad vibes yet so many agency/client teams work that way. It doesn’t have to be that way.
“You know they can see that, right?” “What if they see that?” are comments I get a lot about LinkedIn posts, tweets, speeches, newsletters and etc. Yes, I know and I hope they do see it – it’s a teaching/learning moment and they aren’t the only ones. I’d be shocked if they realized they were the inspiration for the content, however.
It Always Comes Back to Community
Community is at the heart of everything I do – from building and growing social media communities and growing our Little League community to creating relationships with clients, colleagues and my online community. I create and maintain spaces where you feel heard, valued and part of something meaningful. You definitely should feel that way at home, with your friends, reading your DMs and at work.
When we prioritize relationships and create spaces where everyone feels valued, welcomed and trusted we grow, have more meaningful and honest conversations and have a lot less tension.
Think about a brand’s social community – if the brand authentically engages with depth (not emojis and one word replies) it:
• enhances customer service and loyalty
• increases brand awareness
• gives the brand valuable insights and feedback
• increases revenue
Now go back and read that part but you’re the brand and the community is your client/agency and online network. You want people to be loyal to you, give you positive word of mouth, share insights and give you opportunities for more income, right?
🌊 Brain Waves: How to Use AI as an Assistant
For ease of writing, I’m going to continue with the agency/client relationship but you can apply this to any personal or professional relationship – but you have to mean it and want it – not just do it for the benefit because rarely does anyone benefit from bullshit.
Agree on transparency even when it’s uncomfortable. Be upfront about discussing your challenges and uncertainties so there will be productive conversations and you will be able to meet your goals, even if you have to adjust.
Ask for feedback. It’s the key to improvement, not just a formality. Just like a report shows what’s working and what’s not (if you’re honest), both parties should ask for and feel comfortable sharing feedback.
Meet consistently (and cancel recurring meetings if they don’t need to happen). Even if it’s just a quick check in every couple of weeks, touch bases keep you aligned, plus I can’t tell you how many calls I’ve been on where we both think of something we forgot to share or the other needs to know but got too busy and forgot to send an email. I’m not in all of your meetings and you’re not in all of mine – we have to connect. These meetings help build trust and showcase dedication and loyalty.
Nurture your community. Quality over quantity always – I don’t care how many followers or subscribers you have – I care that you care about me, see me, hear me, and are valuable to me. I want you to know that I care about you, see you, hear you and value you. If it’s not authentic and genuine your community will call you out and/or leave you.
Listen and adapt. Communities and relationships evolve and so should your approach. Actively provide/listen to feedback and be willing to adapt and change to meet the ever-changing needs of your client/community/friend/business.
Lead by example – consistently show up and deliver on your promises and core values. I reply to every comment, DM and email. I start conversations. I reach out to people I haven’t heard from in a while to see how they’re doing.
I still talk to clients from over 10 years ago. I still talk to people I met while I was a community manager for several brands – the fans of the brand. I still get pictures from this guy of his lab eating prior hot dog client’s hot dogs. These are real relationships and I am grateful for them.
I owe my entire business and career to word of mouth recommendations and those wouldn’t be possible without the relationships I made, the community I created and of course the work I do. In the last 2 years, I’ve had 10 people who I have never worked with or for refer me to new clients. I am currently working on 3 new brands with 3 prior clients. The clients and agencies I’ve easily forgotten are the ones who would not allow relationships to be created or even for humans to act like humans – good luck to those.
I'm not sure what I'm writing about next week, but when it hits your inbox, I'll be in the air, on my way to an NIL shoot - a referral from a prior colleague... AND I get to see MINDY (my soul twin below). I CAN NOT WAIT!
Chelsea
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